I thought the timing was almost unbelievable.
This morning’s episode of The Quote of the Day Show was chosen almost two weeks ago to air today.
But then I thought, wait. It would have been perfect timing even if that didn’t happen in Las Vegas last night.
September was a doozy. Three devastating hurricanes, a deadly earthquake, wildfires, a White House that makes me sick to my stomach on a regular basis, a Hepatitis A outbreak requiring the actual bleaching down of the streets of my little beach town, a guy who is slowly but surely showing signs he is about to break my heart, and one of my best friends literally dying and coming back to life. I also had one of my highest earning months so far this year, even though I spent most nights washing down the days with more vodka and wine than any girl really needs.
I don’t know how I made it to October.
So, I thought today’s episode was good timing. But the more I thought about it, it’s really just a complete crapshoot that some major tragedy will hit way too close to home between the time I fall asleep and the time I wake up the next morning.
I don’t say that to be depressing or to make anyone feel bad. I say that because it is the reality I’m currently living in. And I’m no stranger to feeling bad. Nope. In fact, I’ve even gotten shit for how comfortable I am with feeling bad in the past. I’ve done my fair share of wallowing, and mostly in times that look like a freaking vacation compared to what’s going on today. That’s not what this is about, though. Because the weight of all of it is a continuous reminder to me of one very important thing:
I just want to feel good.
That’s it. It’s that simple. I just want to feel good as much as possible and I want to help other people feel good, too.
It’s easier said than done, especially for someone super sensitive like me. There are times I feel intense waves of pain that I know are not even my own, but belong to all the other humans I’m connected to in the world. And I’m pretty sure if anyone knew how much I actually loved all other humans and living on this earth in this time they would think I’m an absolute freak.
You may not be as woo-woo or sensitive as me or get freaky pain vibes from the other side of the world, but I think you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever watched the news or read a headline about suffering happening in some place you’ve never been, or felt sadness for some person you’ve never met, or been affected by someone else’s bad mood, you’ve felt this, too. You know you are connected to other people.
The way we feel affects everyone and everything we come into contact with. We are all connected, regardless of how disconnected we may feel at times and how divided the media and other institutions would like us to believe we are. When tragedy strikes, we feel helpless and hopeless. We aren’t allowed to feel good. People scream at each other across social media: “How could you be okay when that just happened?” But why?
Wayne said it best:
You can’t feel bad enough to make anybody else’s life better.
You can’t get sick enough to help one person get well.
You can’t get confused enough to unconfuse any other person.
You can’t feel sad enough to bring another person joy.
So as sickness in all its forms attacks the world, I just want to be as healthy as I can possibly be. And as things become unclear and more confusing, I just want to understand more so I can explain to those who don’t. And if there is any chance for me to bring happiness to another person, I must figure out how to find peace and gratitude in any moment, especially when it seems there is none.
And I’ll do anything and everything I can to feel good. Because even when you feel like you can’t do anything, if you do everything to be your best self and feel good and keep moving forward through the bullshit, it counts more than you could ever know.